From Silent Struggles to Shared Strength

My Double Life.

For years, I lived a double life. On the surface, I was a successful food and body coach, guiding clients towards peace with their bodies and food. But behind closed doors, I was still struggling with binge eating, body image issues, and the crushing weight of shame. I only shared my successes. I acted like I had it all figured out, because I thought that’s what would inspire people and make them want to work with me.

The Mask of Perfection

I remember one particular coaching call. There were hundreds of people on the call, seeking coaching and support on the topic of binge eating. I was able to help them and support them through their challenges, but I was silently suffering. On this particular day I had literally binged right before the call. I only stopped eating moments before the call started and certainly would have kept eating if I didn’t have the commitment of the call to stop me.

The irony wasn't lost on me. Here I was, supposedly an expert, yet struggling with the very issues I was helping others overcome. I was so ashamed. I felt like a fraud, unworthy of the trust my clients placed in me.

But I kept it hidden. After all, I was the expert. I was supposed to have it all figured out. Or so I thought.

The Turning Point

The more I kept my own personal struggles a secret, the worse things got. I felt like a fraud. I wasn’t doing the things I told my clients to do. I wanted to hide. I would turn to food to disconnect in the way I had done so many times over the years (and decades). It was a well-worn path that was easy to return to.

I began to truly see the cost of my silence. Not only was it affecting my mental health, but it was also holding me back from being the coach – and the person – I wanted to be. It was impacting every area of my life.

In a moment of desperation, I reached out to a fellow coach and shared my struggles. She helped me see what was happening and gave me strategies to support myself. She helped me question the belief that I had to have everything together and that I had to be “perfect” in order to help my clients.

That support changed everything.

Your Vulnerability is Your Superpower

As I began to open up about my journey, something remarkable happened. Not only did I find healing and growth for myself, but my coaching transformed. My empathy deepened. My advice became more nuanced, more authentic. I could truly meet my clients where they were because I intimately understood their struggles.

More importantly, my clients began to stop expecting perfection of themselves. They started to realize that it was okay to have their own moments of struggle and challenge. They were often in awe of the stories I would share of how I was working through my own issues.

I realized that my journey wasn't a liability – it was my greatest asset as a coach.

Inspiration Through Humanity

While this story is specific to my experience as a food and body coach, the lesson is universal. Whether you're a coach, a teacher, a parent, or a leader in any field, the pressure to appear perfect is real. We often feel that to guide others, we must have it all figured out ourselves.

But here's the truth I've learned: It's not our perfection that inspires and helps others. It's our humanity. Our willingness to be vulnerable, to share our struggles, and to grow alongside those we serve.

This sounds simple. Be vulnerable. Share your struggles. Grow with others. Simple - maybe. Easy? Not at all! Being vulnerable is scary. There is a potential for rejection, for people to see you as weak. This is true, and there is also a potential for people to see you as human, and to give hope and inspiration that we can grow while we struggle as long as we have support.

Support Leads to Growth

This realization led me to a mission: to create a space where coaches, particularly those in the food and body field, can find the support they need. A place where we can drop the mask of perfection and embrace our ongoing journey of growth. A place to get the guidance on how to navigate the moments of challenge both personally and professionally.

But the need for such support extends beyond just coaches. We all need spaces where we can be authentically ourselves, where we can share our challenges without fear of judgment, and where we can find strength in community.

Help Me Create a Safe Space

I'm in the process of creating such a space, specifically designed for food and body coaches (or any coach struggling with their own food and body issues). It's a project close to my heart, born from my own experience and the recognition of a profound need in our community.

If you're a food and body coach, and this resonates with you, I invite you to help me make sure that what I’m offering will be a valuable resource. Your input will help me create a safe place where people who are struggling in silence can get support.

There are 2 ways you can help (both anonymously if you prefer):

1. Fill out a brief survey to share your own experience

2. Participate in a group discussion on Wednesday, September 11th at 9am PT / 10am MT / 11am CT / 12pm ET

And if you're not a coach, I encourage you to reflect on where you might need more support in your life. Where could you benefit from a community that embraces both your strengths and your struggles?

Share Your Story

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Have you experienced the transformative power of vulnerability and support in your life or work? How has it shaped your journey? Share your reflections in the comments below.

Remember, seeking support isn't a sign of weakness – it's a courageous step towards growth and authenticity. Wherever you are on your journey, know that you're not alone and you aren’t broken. We heal in community. Find your people and find your path to healing.

If you're interested in learning more about my journey or how I’m cultivating the support I wish I had through my own food and body struggles, stay tuned. I'll be sharing more insights and resources on these topics in the coming weeks.