The Hidden Cost of "Perfect" Holidays
Why High Achievers Struggle Most With Food During This Time
For high achievers, the holiday season often feels like another project to excel at. The same drive that fuels professional success can transform festive gatherings into a minefield of perfectionist triggers around food and body image.
The real problem isn't the abundance of holiday treats or packed social calendars. It's the exhausting mental gymnastics of trying to maintain control when everything feels chaotic. That carefully cultivated professional image starts to crack under the weight of family dynamics, disrupted routines, and endless food-centered events.
The Perfectionist Pattern
As a former perfectionist who spent 25 years struggling with binge eating, I've noticed a pattern: the higher the stakes we place on having the "perfect" holiday experience, the more likely we are to feel out of control with food.
Here's what's actually happening: When we approach the holidays like a high-stakes performance, our nervous system interprets this pressure as a threat. The brain's response? To seek comfort and safety - often through food. The very things we do to maintain control end up pushing us toward the behaviors we're trying to avoid.
A Simple Tool You Can Use Today
Instead of focusing on food rules or restrictions, try setting an intention for how you want to feel during holiday gatherings. Choose one or two words that describe your desired experience - perhaps "present and calm" or "connected and grateful."
For example, rather than going to a family dinner thinking "I need to control my portions," set an intention to be "peaceful and aware." This shifts your brain's focus from threat (food) to safety (your desired emotional state). When you notice yourself getting anxious about food, gently return to your intention. How can you embody those qualities in this moment?
When Perfect Isn’t Peaceful
The path forward isn't about having more willpower or a better strategy around holiday treats. It's about creating safety for ourselves in situations that feel threatening to our sense of control.
Think about it: How many holiday seasons have you spent strategizing about food rules, only to end up feeling more out of control? What if there was a different way to approach these celebrations - one that prioritizes peace over perfection?
Going Deeper
If you find yourself dreading upcoming family gatherings or already anxious about holiday food situations, I have something that might help. This Friday (11/22), I'm releasing a special on-demand teaching with additional tools you can use to navigate triggering family dynamics while staying true to yourself.
This teaching will be available to all paid subscribers of The Peaceful Eater and will appear in your inbox so that you can dive in when you are ready.
The holidays don't have to be another area where you push yourself to perform. There's a different way to experience this season - one that doesn't require perfection to feel peaceful.
Ready to try something different? Upgrade your subscription now to access this free teaching when it drops on Friday.
This really hits home! High achievers often bring that same drive into every area of life, including the holidays, and it can be utterly draining. In my work with high achievers, I’ve seen how the pressure to have to manage everything perfectly (especially during rest time, which includes the holidays), turns what should be a time to recharge into yet another project. What I’ve found is that when those underlying blocks driving perfectionism are cleared, everything shifts. Suddenly, the holidays become less about controlling the chaos and more about enjoying it, choosing what truly matters and letting go of the rest easily. You’ve nailed such an important topic here, especially for this time of year!