What Do I Do After a Binge?
What Do I Do After a Binge?
You've just eaten a lot of food. What happens next matters the most.
As you are reading this, you are likely in one of two camps:
You’ve recently binged or eaten a lot of food. You feel miserable, disappointed and frustrated and want to know what to do next.
You aren’t there right now, but you know exactly how the person above feels because you’ve been there more times than you can count.
I can’t count how many times I have Googled “what to do after a binge”. This was part of my typical pattern. I would binge, and when I would finally stop I couldn’t stand to be with myself, physically or emotionally. This was often after spending hours eating food from the pantry, the bakery, the grocery store and the convenience store.
I wanted to know - what do I do now? How can I feel better now and how can I stop doing this so I don’t feel so badly in the first place?
I found so many articles about juice cleanses and lots of photos that were honestly quite triggering, but I didn’t find many resources that truly helped. My goal is for this to be the resource that I was looking for back when I was struggling the most.
So let’s get down to it. If you have just eaten a lot of food, or in a way that you don’t prefer, this will walk you through step by step what to do.
If you haven’t - celebrate the fact that you’ve been feeling calm and peaceful around food. And bookmark this post so that you can come back to it should you ever need it in the future.
What to Do After a Binge - 5 Step Plan
Step 1. Decide You’re Done
One of the hardest parts about ending a binge is the decision that it is actually over. This can be especially hard if you are telling yourself that you are going to be “perfect” tomorrow and that you will never do this again.
Think about it - your brain is trying to have a “last supper” - get it in while you can, because tomorrow it just might get taken away from you.
You don’t have to decide to stop eating for good, or even for the rest of the day. But give yourself a period of time (perhaps 1-2 hours) where you won’t eat again. Chances are that you’ve eaten enough food that you won’t physically be hungry, so it will be the emotional tie that will want to keep eating.
How do you decide you’re done? It’s helpful if you can tell someone. Make a declaration. I’m done eating for now. There is power in saying it out loud. If you don’t have someone to tell, write it down. Get it out of your head.
Step 2. Suspend the Shame
This one might be the hardest, yet most important step. If you have traditionally felt a lot of shame after a binge, this won’t go away overnight. But as Brene Brown so beautifully taught us about shame - it grows in the darkness. Shame wants us to hide.
We suspend shame by finding a safe person to share our experience. We find a place to go where we can be met with understanding and compassion. This is not easy but it is powerful. (Join Cultivate to have access to a small group that can support you through any binge or work with me 1:1 to have access to a safe person any time you need it.)
If you don’t have someone to talk to - ask yourself this question:
What would I say to a friend, or a young person, if they were in this exact situation?
Step 3. Choose Curiosity & Compassion
Curiosity and compassion are the keys to overcoming any situation with food that didn’t feel peaceful. Remember - you can’t access curiosity and compassion if you are in shame or judgment. Shame and judgment are like the 50 pound weight on the hood of the car preventing you from getting under the hood to see what’s happening.
Here are some powerful questions to ask yourself to shift into curiosity and compassion:
What do I need right now?
How does this make sense?
Step 4. Learn the Lesson
Every binge has something to teach us if we are willing to learn the lesson. I believe there is treasure in every binge. The opportunity to get to know yourself on a new level. This is only possible when you suspend the shame and judgment, and open up to curiosity and compassion.
Here are some great questions you can ask yourself:
What can I learn from this?
Where do I still have opportunities to grow?
Step 5. Put it into Practice
We all know how frustrating it can be to do something over and over again, thinking “I know better, so why can’t I do better?” When we don’t do better there is a reason. It’s often because we aren’t actually putting into practice what we are learning or discovering. We are doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result.
So, how do we do this? How do we put this into practice? How do I remember these steps the next time I eat a lot of food?
I created the CALM Process so that you can easily remember what to do and to walk you through step by step how to create CALM and peace with yourself - no matter how much you’ve eaten.
The CALM Process for After a Binge
C - Comprehend with Compassion
Questions to ask yourself:
How does this make sense?
A - Assess and Address
Questions to ask yourself:
What was I trying to get the food to do for me?
How can I honor my needs now?
L - Learn the Lesson
Questions to ask yourself:
What do I learn from this?
What will I do differently next time?
M - Move On
Questions to ask yourself:
What’s next?
How quickly can I move on?
Do you want these steps, along with the CALM Process at your fingertips? Click the button below to get your steps and guided questions to support you through the moments after your next binge.
How Do I Stop Binge Eating?
You might be thinking okay - this is nice, but how do I STOP binge eating? I don’t want to binge at all. Trust me, I get it. I know you don’t want to binge anymore. But right now this is where you are.
Resisting where you are will only make it worse. You absolutely can have a future where you don’t binge anymore, but for now, can you open up to the possibility of a different response when you do binge?
This is how you change. Ending binge eating doesn’t happen overnight. Following these steps and creating more calm, compassion, curiosity and connection with yourself after a binge is exactly how you create a future where binge eating is no longer a part of your life.
If you want support to discover your next step to ending binge eating, click the button below.
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